Human Up Season 2 Ep 9: Putting the Human First: Signs of Hope

This is a transcript of Human Up Podcast Season 2, Episode 9 with Kimberly Small which you can watch and listen to here:

Dave Marlon: Hi, and welcome to the Human Up Podcast. I'm your host, Dave Marlon, and it's an honor today to have the CEO of Signs of Hope, Kim Small. Kim, it's a pleasure.

Kim Small: Thanks, Dave, for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.

Dave: Likewise. I was saying before we started that this is really authentic because you and I are actually meeting for the first time right now.

Kim: Correct. That's right.

Dave: I love Signs of Hope, your organization. Thank you. And I love the work that the Rape Crisis Center has done in Las Vegas for decades. We should first start probably... Well, let's go back before we start. Who is Kim Small?

Kim: So I am a transplant from California. I've been in Las Vegas for four years now and I've enjoyed my time. I love the community. I love the organization that I work for and the people that I work with. My background is in education, Dave actually. I've spent 30 plus years in education working in schools, school districts, for - profit schools, and last working for a nonprofit that helped students to become entrepreneurs. So I've been in this role for three years now and January it'll be four years. And like I tell everyone, unfortunately, I still work with children and I'm still educating. So that's me. I'm a transplant loving Las Vegas.

Dave: Well, to me, I'm a big fan of education and I really think it's the primary pathway to the American dream. And I saw that you are a USC grad.

Kim: Y, spot on.

Dave: I also saw that you're a Pepperdine Masters

Kim: Go ways. Yes. I actually just attended last month an alumni event here. We were welcoming the new class, the freshmen to Pepperdine. And it was interesting. We sat outside at the Red Rock Country Club in the heat and I though this is not the Pepperdine breeze that they're used to or that they're going to get used to, that nice ocean breeze. But yes, I received two masters from Pepperdine.

Dave: What were the two masters in?

Kim: One in education and one in administration, education administration.

Dave: Okay. So it sounds like you are well equipped for the job and pretty much pedigree in terms of education. So kudos to you and it's an honor to be able to spend some time with you. And I'm grateful that I run a little nonprofit in Las Vegas as well and have really found that the answer to life is in helping as many people as I can to be of maximum service to my fellows. And you're certainly helping people who traditionally have been ostracized, neglected, under-supported in our community. So I'm very grateful for the work that you do.

Kim: Thank you. Thank you. We're proud of the work that we do. And I am extremely proud of my team that works twenty four seven. As you know, we have two hotlines, one dedicated for sexual assault and one for human trafficking. And those are manned by our advocates who are either staff or highly trained volunteers. And it's not for the faint of heart. Unfortunately, the stories and the clients that we come in contact with are not, this is the worst time of their life, correct? But we're there And we're there to hold their hand if necessary and to offer reassurance that we'll be there as they go through their healing journey, as they transition through their healing journey. But we're also there to provide support and resources like emergency shelter or if they're visiting Las Vegas and they need to return home, then we'll help with that as well. But also we accompany them to the hospital or Nevada Health right if they are in need of a forensic exam and if they want us there, we're there. I'm very proud of my staff's ability to show up and show up with care and passion for the victim survivors that we encounter. We also have counseling services here on site and we have court advocates that are available to accompany the victim survivor and their family as they go through the judicial process. And something that is unique to Signs of Hope is that we have a PREA advocate and PREA stands for Prison Rape Elimination Act. And that advocate, her name's Kelly, is supporting victims that are in confinement who find themselves assaulted while in confinement. And she's there to provide just as the other advocates do the support and the resources, especially when they leave the facility. She wants to make sure that they have what's necessary for their healing journey as well. So there's a great wraparound service that we provide in addition to prevention and education because our goal is to break the myth that, as you said, it's not the victim's fault. It's not because of what they're wearing or what they're drinking or where they are. It's never their fault. And we really want our victim survivors to be seen and heard and most importantly believed.

Dave: Amen. And thank God for what you do. This is timely. I write a Substack article every week and my article last week was touching on the work that you do. And I was welcoming the fact, and I don't know if you read it, but I was lamenting the fact that in our society, I hate the fact that we want to supply women with mace and rape whistles. And we're looking at giving prevention techniques to the victims as opposed to making rapists carry a ball and chain or something for the aggressor in this situation rather than just assuming change their dress or have them have a light or carry pepper spray. To me, our society has to go through a correction partly due to patriarchy and partly to this thing that most males, and I know this isn't a male-female issue because it affects both, but it's predominantly female issue. And most males that I come across and speak with are still undereducated on the gravity and the effect and indicated by the lack of appropriateness of the response when we hear about it. And I'm an Italian male from New York. And unless I'd went through over a decade of counseling education, I too would've been guilty of not showing appropriate appreciation and understanding and empathy For this travesty.

Kim: Yes. Yes to everything you said. Education needs to be had for everyone because I've come across some women that have said the same. Well, it's because she had on or it's because he was drinking. No, it is never the victim's fault.

Dave: I love that you say that. Never. There's no unequivocality there.

Kim: Exactly. Never. It is up to us to educate the community and it is up to the community to educate each other and to understand that it is again, not because of what you're wearing or where you are. But also as you said, Dave, Yeah, I've got a rake whistle on my key ring. I've given my daughters mace to carry around. It isn't something that we're educating the women on what to do and what not to do, but are we educating our men on what to do and what not to do? And yes, signs of hope is in schools. We're in charter schools, CCSD, universities and colleges and we're educating and in the community as well on good touch, bad touch, healthy versus unhealthy relationships, child sexual abuse, consent, that's a huge one. Consent, we have posters made of what is consent. And just because your yes is a yes today does not mean your yes is a yes tomorrow or even an hour later. So what does consent mean? And you need to make sure that you're asking and you're being respectful and abiding by everyone's wishes on how to proceed with the relationship. One last thing. I read an article and this came out years ago and it was geared to women. And the question was asked, if there were no men, what would you do? And the answers were, I mean, eye-opening. I'd ride my bike at night. I would put both ear pods in and turn my music up and go for a walk. The fact that we are on guard at all times. It was eyeopening.

Dave: I get that. And I've had a wife for the last 10 years who's a... She was a US Marine for eight years, toughest lady you're ever going to meet, but she's 105 pounds. And the fact that we travel all around the world and at any time of day or night, we're both runners. I go out jogging. I never, almost never have ever had a thought of my safety. It isn't an issue, but it's constantly an issue for her. There was a book I had read, which changed it for me. And it was a book that said, "Hey guys, pretend you go to a party at your college and everybody's drinking beer, but pretend that everyone there is a 400 pound linebacker twice your size and weight and they're pawing at you and they're saying inappropriate things. Would that change the way you looked at going to a party?" And to me, understanding Maslow's hierarchy and it's like all those years I would go to college parties or now I go out places. My safety is almost never my issue. But despite us in theory being a first world evolved country, it's like a primary concern for many females in many situations, which just alters your whole framework of thinking. And to me, anybody who understands that would demand that the rape crisis center get support and the work that you do at Signs of Hope to provide education, we'd be more emphatic about it. I have two sons and I'm grateful that they are well educated about this, but we must do better as a society.

Kim: And I'm glad that you've had those conversations with your sons and this is something that we as parents need to do. The conversations that you have with your sons are the conversations you need to have with your daughters. They need to be aware of what to do and what not to do as well. But also the sons need to be aware of how to treat a young woman and how to also be mindful of their actions and interactions as well as women. One campaign we run and it's out this year and we run it every year around pool season and New Year's Eve is party smart. And we encourage party goers to arrive together, stick together and leave together. And if there is someone in your friend group that is not attending the event with you, then send them your location so they're able to track you. And also in your friend group that you're partying with, let them know where you are at all times. Do not be separated from your friend group. And by all means, if you are drinking and you put your drink down to go to the restroom or to go to the dance floor, do not come back to that drink. Do

Dave: Not

Kim: Come back and drink from that same drink. Get a new drink. And just be very mindful because predators like to separate. They like to separate you From your friend group and they prey on that individual who's away from their group and might be vulnerable. And so party together, stick together, stay together and leave together. It's truly valuable for party goers to be aware of their surroundings and be accountable for each other. You came together, leave together and make that a pack. But most importantly, share your location. And if someone is bothering you, do not be afraid to speak up and let the security know that this person is bothering you. And that's what they're there for to help you have a pleasant party going experience.

Dave: Agreed. And you mentioned I believe Rufinol or the date rape drug. I run a large counseling agency. We have over a hundred clinicians. And when I hear about somebody's drink being spiked, I wish that was a rare occasion. Me too. But I hear about it an awful lot, way too much for it to be acceptable in our society. And for any males or females who are listening who think it's in any way appropriate to use that for someone without their consent, it's atrocious.

Kim: I agree. I agree. It is very atrocious. All

Dave: Right. I'm going to start going off the deep end if I don't reel it in here. Okay. When you became the new CEO of Signs of Hope, what did you step into?

Kim: I stepped into an organization that was a lot larger than what we are now. And I can talk a little bit about why we've paired down. But we had one hotline, which we instituted a second hotline. We had full counseling center. We had groups. We had support groups for parents. We had support groups for teens. And we had case managers on the sexual assault side as well as the human trafficking side. I also stepped into an organization that is predominantly funded by federal grants. And that has been a benefit and also a negative.

Dave: I know very well.

Kim: I'm sure you can -

Dave: We have lots of them. A blessing and a curse.

Kim: It is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because they're lucrative. And it is a curse because funding gets cut and funding has consistently been cut, especially for the population we serve. And we are now down to 20, 21 staff members and that is not inclusive of our contract to counselors. But we recently went through another round of federal cuts and state cuts. And that impacts the work that we do because the need is increasing. The capacity to address this is not. And that's what we're asking the community to get behind is to support us. And you said that earlier, we need the funding to do what we do. We are the only rape crisis center in the state of Nevada. And we've been working in Nevada for 52 years. There is a need. Thank you. There is a need and it is growing, but the capacity is not. And as a CEO, I'm constantly challenged with how to do more with less and that isn't fair for my team as it is not an easy task that they're encountering every day. And vicarious trauma is real and so is burnout. I need to be able to increase our capacity and I depend on our community to help with that either with fundraising or volunteering. And we have our advocacy university coming up at the end of September, which is a 50 hour training for volunteers as well as new staff to go through to be certified to work on our hotline, to work in our office. We depend on volunteers as well as unrestricted dollars so that I don't have to make cuts to our programs. So I, like you, think that it's highly important for the community to support the only rape crisis center in the state of Nevada.

Dave: Wow. Agreed. And we went through state, the state cut all our funding. We went through federal cuts here as well. And to me, I'll complain a little bit. We treat any human with a substance use disorder or a mental illness. And we were emphatic about that since our inception. Although about a little over a year ago, we went through a big rebranding and we now treat all Americans with a substance use disorder of mental illness when we had to do that to protect our funding. And when you go through when the state cut our funding, not only as a CEO did I realize that I've got to cut a bunch of staff positions, but the rest of my staff, we have 130 staff here at Vegas Stronger. The rest of the staff, they know it hurts me. It means I'm not going to sleep for a while and that it physically causes me pain and that breaks my heart. But all the staff, they feel less appreciated recognizing that the feds or the state isn't recognizing, appreciating, continuing to support our work, which we know is critical. Our staff know is critical. So to me, our job is doing more of this, getting out messaging and spreading the words so people understand that mental illness is real, substance use disorders are real, sex trafficking is real. And what do we call rape or - Sexual assault.

Kim: Sexual assault.

Dave: Sexual assaults. Yeah. Thank you. Sexual assault is real. And they're real victims with very long... There's a very long tal on this, which I wanted to ask you. I saw you have this RISE program.

Kim: That's our human trafficking program. And RISE provides case management to sex trafficking as well as labor trafficking, which is increasing here in Nevada. And they're small but mighty group and they work twenty four seven, especially during when there are big events that come to Las Vegas. And I don't want to say that the big events cause this. However, when there's this understanding, which is totally not true, that prostitution is legal here in Las Vegas.

Dave: Not true.

Kim: People come with that expectation and it's almost like they lose their mind and it's partially because of alcohol, the disposable income. And so when those big events come in, we do see sometimes an uptick in the numbers in the calls. But I always tell people, if we had the capacity and the funding to provide these resources twenty four seven, which we do, but having more people out in the community, we work alongside of Vice with Metro. If we had them out on a daily basis, we'd see about the same numbers. So when those cuts happen, they are hurtful. I have to sit with it for a little while and figure out how to message this to my team. It is never about their performance. It is truly hurtful for me. And yes, I am fully makeuped because I've not slept in days. I've got bags under my eyes. I'm tired.

Dave: It's a heavy burden that we choose to bear. It is a heavy

Kim: burden. This is one, this is their livelihood. And I'd never want to impact someone's livelihood, but when you boil it all down, the victim survivors are the ones that are truly impacted by these cuts. Yeah.

Dave: Agreed.

Kim: And we rely on Vegas Stronger because a lot of the times, Dave, when you have victims of sexual assault and sex trafficking, there's a lot of addiction to deal with it. And so yes, we refer out to Vegas Stronger to provide the resources and the counseling that we cannot provide. And so I feel your pain with the

Dave: Cuts. Yeah. Thank you. Now you said the RISE program was a long-term program and I understand the crisis when it first happens and dealing with that counseling. Tell me about this long-term counseling or the intervention.

Kim: The RISE program is very different from our sexual assault. Sexual assault is a crisis. It's happening in the moment. We're able to provide those resources immediately. The sex trafficking is something that is not always realized and it is not always welcomed in that moment. And sometimes it takes multiple attempts. Just as labor trafficking takes multiple attempts because sometimes there's an issue of trust. And so our team does a number of outreaches in the community where they are offering our services. Sometimes our sex trafficked, those individuals that we encounter are just not ready to leave the life. Or a lot of survivors will tell you they didn't realize that they were being trafficked until later on. And then they heard about it and they compared it to what their experience was and realized that happened to me. And so we always tell them, when you're ready, we're here. But we are very careful about it because we don't want to endanger them with their trafficker, their pimp. But we give them our number. We make it very clear that when you're ready, we're here. And we're also very pleased that the RTC will have our number on buses and bus shelters or

Dave: Sometimes

Kim: The Palms will run our number on the side of their building. So getting our number out there for when they're ready and building that trust with them when they're ready to step away from that life, to get them what they need, housing, employment, oftentimes documents because their documents have been taken away by their trafficker. So we're helping with that legal aspect as well. And we rely on our partners out in the community to help with that legal aid. And so it takes a little longer on that end. And we offer more counseling, longer sessions, more sessions for victims of human trafficking, victim survivors of human trafficking, more so than with sexual assault because it takes a little longer for those that are being trafficked sometimes to realize that they are being trafficked to step away from that life.

Dave: It's amazing listening to you talk about that. Substance use disorders have a lot of similarities. Yes. Many of our clients come in not realizing that they are addicted to drugs. They just like it. And sometimes they come in once and they're like, no. And sometimes it takes multiple treatment episodes, but before they get it. But the important thing is that we're here seven days a week when they are ready to be able to help them. So talking about your number on bus shelters and such, that's so important. So when it happens, people are able to know where to reach because too often we think ourselves in tremendously unique situations that no one would understand. Right.

Kim: And we're also thankful that some of the properties on the strip will have our numbers in their restrooms. Also, you'll see the number on the national hotline on the back of the stalls in airports. And if

Dave: You

Kim: Call that number, they'll ring through to us. So you

Dave: Can always

Kim: Get ahold of us through that national hotline number. Oh,

Dave: That's awesome. Let's see. Trauma, addiction, homelessness, mental health exploitation. They could be all deeply connected. Yes. What do we as service providers need to understand about those intersections to avoid re-traumatizing people that we're trying to help?

Kim: Oh, wow. Be trauma informed. And that's easier said than done. And there are a lot of service providers that say we're trauma informed. It's almost a buzzword. But after further digging, we ask the question. We sometimes realize they're not. Or after asking if they are, they're sometimes not. And so I do ask that my team vets any partners that we We partner with to make sure they're trauma informed and that they're aware of the clients that we serve and we offer training, no cost training so that our service providers can better service our victim survivors and really understanding this population is vital to providing the trauma informed services that we have for our clients. And then there's always improvement on our end as well. So we're always looking and doing internal trainings and looking at our processes to make sure they're up to par. But as partners, service providers, we ask that everyone is trauma informed. We do not want to re-victimize anyone. And so

Dave: We

Kim: Try to limit the number of times or eliminate the number of times that they have to retell their story.

Dave: Right. Great. Yeah. We'll have a client here for quite some time and most likely we're going to address the primary substance or mental health condition. We'll maybe do grounding techniques, self-soothing way before any exposure therapy, which is a much longer term intervention that we may get to. Agreed.

Kim: Agreed. And we do offer those holistic... We have yoga on Tuesday evenings for victims and survivors and staff volunteer. We really try to pour into our staff as well, making sure that their wellbeing is taken care of.

Dave: Important. As an educator, what's something that we could tell educators, friends, families, others about what are signs that somebody might be experiencing exploitation?

Kim: It looks different for everyone. However, some of the key signs that we tell if there's a young individual in your classroom and they're being picked up by someone that you're not familiar with, making sure you find out you don't allow them to go or they're on that list of approved contacts or asking them questions or alerting their parents. If they're showing up with higher end items that they normally wouldn't be able to afford, then ask those questions. Where are you getting this? For parents, check their social media. Predators prey on young individuals through social media. So check their social media. Ask about their friend group. Have them over to the house so you're able to see who they're hanging out with. Make sure that if you're in the community and you see someone, you see an individual with another individual and they don't have as much control. There's a control issue. You're talking to them and they're not making eye contact or the other person is speaking for them or they're not allowed to hold their phone or their documents. These are all some signs. Again, it looks different. And we ask that if you have questions, if you suspect anything, call our hotline and ask. We can connect you to Metro. Our human trafficking number can connect you to Metro and if you can provide a tip and they'll follow up anonymously

Dave: Too. Great. That's helpful.

Kim: See something, say something, Dave. I know that's always the...

Dave: No agreed. And I'm a parent, kind of my primary job. And I like just framing whether it's the treatment we do, the work you do, what if it was our kid? Exactly. And that just elevates everything. A lot of public conversations on trafficking are really focused all about the rescue. What language or framing should we use instead and why does survivor autonomy matter so much?

Kim: We don't rescue anyone. We recover. And that's commonly used. That word is commonly used. And sometimes it's like nails on a chalkboard. We recover. There's no white van that's going to come and kidnap you. This is not a third world epidemic. It happens here. It happens in your community. It happens to individuals that you know or have some sort of relationship with. There's no discrimination in sexual assault and human trafficking, specifically sex trafficking. It can happen to anyone at any time. For the victim survivor, we say victim survivor because they were once victims. Now they're survivors and they think of themselves as survivors and not victims anymore. And we want to empower them to tell their own story. We want them to be responsible for or take back their control, we say. And so we offer choices. When you're ready, we're here. That is your choice. That is your control. There are a number of other autonomous factors that survivors feel very, very strong about. And I am very proud that Signs of Hope is involved in the Southern Nevada Human Trafficking Task Force. And they have a quarterly collaborative event coming up in July where there's going to be a panel. And on the panel there's going to be a survivor. And we're going to view a short movie, a film about trafficking here in Las Vegas.

Dave: Wow, that's awesome. And great to get that education information. I bet there's a lot of people who are going to watch and listen to this podcast that - I

Kim: Hope so.

Dave: They want to help, but they're worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. What are practical ways to support survivor-centered work in Southern Nevada?

Kim: Get involved with local organizations such as Signs of Hope that are doing this work. Support us, of course, with your time and your money. We also have in - kind donations, clothing items, non-perishable food items, hygiene kits. I also say support those that are doing this work, my team, making sure that they're taken care of, offering them lunch or gift cards or what have you. But making sure that if you know something or have a question, reach out to us. Contact us on our website. Like I said, we have two hotlines. Call and ask a question. Ask your elected officials and those that are running for office, how are they supporting organizations like Signs of Hope? Get involved in the election process and really dig into how are they supporting organizations that are providing support and resources to victim survivors of domestic violence, sexual violence and human trafficking?

Dave: Well said. I'm going to wrap up here. I call this podcast Human Up. What does that mean to you?

Kim: It means it's putting the human first for me. It means being human and seeing others for their humanity. And just because they're going through such a hard and difficult time, remembering that they're humans. And we often say this about our victim survivors that are in confinement. They are human beings as well and they need to be heard and seen. So making sure that you always remember victim survivors are human.

Dave: That was beautiful. My name's Dave Marlon. This has been an honor spending 40 minutes with Kim Small, the CEO of Signs of Hope. Thank you so much for your time. I'm grateful our organizations collaborate. I hope we do even more. Thanks for being on Human Up.

Kim: I look forward to meeting you soon and thank you for this opportunity.

Dave: Thank you.